The Chunkiest Monkey on the Block

Can you say chunk a munk? The kid might be as wide as he is long. At Jack's first check-up he was in the bottom 10% of weight for kids his age. Since that first check-up, Jack has worked hard and hit the gym regularly to make up for his lack of size.* I am happy to report he is up to like the 95th percentile in weight, and 85th percentile in height.

*The performance enhancing drugs I am cycling him on don't hurt either. If there is one thing professional sports of the 21st century has taught me, its that one is never to young to start with the roids.** As the illustrious Ricky Bobby once said, "If you ain't first, you're last."

**I hope you had your Sarcasm Detector turned on.

Anyway, its crazy but Jack is already growing out his 6-9 month clothes (even though he isn't 6 months old just yet), so I had to get his pic in this awesome Hawkeye gear before it was too late. Needless to say, this outfit is in the rotation right now to maximize its lifetime. Hopefully it will last through the start of the football season.

Bored with pictures already?

Rolling Over

John's New Obession

+




I had no idea this little snack I started loving while living at my sorority house in college would be so exciting for John. I've watched him eat the treat 3 times in 24 hours. It's bad....real bad :)

Jack "Reading"

Summer Grilling

Ladies and gentlemen, can I please have your attention?

I've just been handed an urgent and horrifying news story. I need all of you to stop what you're doing and listen.

[Pause.]

A grey* hair has been spotted on the head of the partriarch of the House of Mills (Kansas City branch). Authorities have not yet confirmed whether this discovery will effect** the ginourmous ego of Mr. Mills, but experts believe it certainly isn't a fortifying attribute.

*Gray? Both are ok, according to wikipedia.com

**Affect? Nope

Happy Jack - 5 months

Thanks for nothing?

My blog is worth $0.00.
How much is your blog worth?

According to these people, our blog is worth nothing. Joe Posananski's* blog is worth $269,850.12. Thanks for nothing...?

*For those of you that don't know, JoePo is a sports writer for the KC Star. He is one my favorite baseball writers. He has his own blog that he just started last fall (I think). He is who I got the * idea from.

For those of you that are curious - ESPN.com is worth $13,817,116.50. That actually seems undervalued to me. For real.

Nana's Gone Back to Iowa :(

Nana and Jack had a great time together:

1. Jack rolled over multiple times,
2. Nana introduced him to bubbles,
3. they went on multiple walks,
4. took naps and, amidst it all,
5. she made dinner for John and I every single night (plus dessert!)

We love you SO much, Nana! You're amazing :)

Nana's Here!

Siskel and Ebert

We've spent a good portion of the last 36 hours watching some newly released flicks and also some ol' favorites for the 17th time (The Break Up, Keeping the Faith). It's been a cozy way to relax while the little guy "recovers." Here's our reviews, but first, John said he wanted to be the skinny guy for once, so he is playing the late Gene Siskel and I'm playing Roger Ebert - a jolly fat man.


Siskel, "Really good. I like this movie a lot. There was a lot of controversy with the ending and I watched the alternative ending on-line, but felt they made the right choice. It makes me want to read the book it is based on -- a 1960s sci-fi novel. Thumb up."


Ebert, "I'm not a fan of scary movies and, while this isn't one of those gory movies, it does have its fair share of 'BOO' moments. So, I closed my eyes A LOT, but I did like the ending. Didn't like the alternative ending we watched on the web. I would give it a sideways thumb."






Siskel, "Heigl is pretty good in this movie, including on the eyes. But, I felt the dialogue was forced a lot. Some very unrealistic moments in my humble opinion. As far as chick flicks go...I've seen worse. Neutral thumb."

Ebert, "Now, this is my kind of movie. It had all the key components - weddings, yuppie love stuff, and great clothes. I give this one a thumbs up!"












Siskel, "Not as good as the stage show and the writers took out my favorite confrontational song. I wouldn't have made a lot of the same cinematic choices as they did (ie. Mark on bike to start the musical with "Rent" was kind of weak sauce). Though, still worth a watch as it's pretty much the original cast. Thumbs up."


Ebert, "It was all over for me during the "Roger's in Santa Fe" scene. You know which one I'm talking about if you've seen this movie. Because John, excuse me, Siskel is so obsessed with this movie, I have to spite him and give a sideways thumb. I do like the music -- especially Take Me or Leave Me!"






Siskel, "I think I would have missed A LOT of throw-aways the writers take for granted (i.e. readers having historical knowledge of the story) but for the fact that Roger had read the book and we had previously watched The Tudors series. Also, Natalie Portman and Scarlett Johansson should have switched roles. Scarlett looked very homely, which is not good. Thumb neutral."

Ebert, "Well, the book is WAY better than the movie. I believe the writers left out A LOT and confused a little bit of the story. Fortunately, I'm a big fan of historical fiction based on King Henry and his wives, so I'll give a thumbs up."

Random 4th of July Thoughts

Ok, so this post is a week late, but I post when I have time.

Anyway, we went to a parade for the 4th of July* with the in-laws last week. And we got to talking about folding "tailgate" chairs. Everybody has them (probably multiple). You can use them everywhere, and they are super handy. So the question becomes, how much money does that dude that invented them have in the bank? Probably not Bill Gates or Warren Buffett money, but he has probably got Tiger Woods money, right? I could probably make that last through retirement.

*Which, by the way, parades are not as big a deal in Kansas and Missouri as they are in Iowa. I found this odd. When I was growing up, the West Des Moines parade was always a big deal, and kids and families lined the streets to watch it go by. Here in KC, I don't think any other families in my office even went to a parade. When I asked them where parades were held around town, they looked at me with a gaze that said, "Why would you want to go to a 4th of July Parade?" Apparently, they haven't been introduced to candy.

And since it wouldn't really be a post by me if it wasn't about me... Robert Joseph Foster needs to get off his butt and finish his research on my super awesome patent idea (so we can be rich like folding tailgate chair guy). So Megan, if you are reading this, please give your husband a giant kick in the pants for me; our retirement homes in Tuscony depend on it.

Nothing screams sexy...

like this...

Just when you guys think I can't get any dumber, I think of something like this... and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF!!!

What do you guys think? It comes in Shiny Black, Dragon Red, and Montebianco White (huh?). I can get 120 miles to the gallon on this hog. This idea is getting some serious play in the House of Mills. The only negatives I can think of: 1) I spend like at least 2 minutes each morning stylin' my do; what would I like look with helmet hair each morning (I got a reputation to uphold, you know?). 2) Does it have weight limit? (I mean, I'm svelte and all, but...). 3) Jack's car seat.

Happy, Healthy, and Hangin' at Home*

*from the self-proclaimed King of alliteration.

PS - Happy Birthday Matthew F. You are really old. Do your bones creak when you get up in the morning? (And have you always smelled that way or is that age catching up with you?)

Morning with Mom

Pictures from the 4th

More to come....

HAPPY 4TH OF JULY!